YSaturday, April 02, 2005

Why the sun lightens our hair,but darkens our skin?Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?Why you don't ever see the headline:"Psychic Wins Lottery"?Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?Why Doctors call what they do a "practice"?Why you have to click on "Start"to stop Windows 98?Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour,while dishwashingliquidismade with real lemons?Why the man who invests all your money is calleda "Broker"?Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?And who tastes dog food when it has a"new & improved" flavour?Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?Why they don't make the whole plane out of thematerial used for thatindestructible black box?Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?Why they are called apartments whenthey are all stuck together?If con is the opposite of pro,is Congress the opposite of progress?Why they call the airport "the terminal"if flying is so safe?AND...In case you need further proof that the human raceis doomed because ofstupidity, here are some actual label instructionson consumer goods.On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping".(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work onmy hair).On a bag of Chips:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside.(Thats gotta be the shoplifter special!!)On a bar of Palmolive soap:"Directions: Use like regular soap".(And that would be how???)On some frozen dinners:"Serving suggestion: Defrost".(hey, it's just a suggestion).On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert(printed on bottom):"Do not turn upside down".(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating".(And you thought????...)On packaging for a K-Mart iron:"Do not iron clothes on body".(But wouldn't this save me more time?)On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery aftertaking this medication".(We could do a lot to reduce the rate ofconstruction accidents if wecouldjust get those 5 year olds with head colds off thoseforklifts.)On Nytol Sleep Aid:"Warning: May cause drowsiness".(And...I'm taking this because???)On most brands of Christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only".(As opposed to...what?)On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm abit curious.)On Nobby's peanuts:"Warning: contains nuts".(Talk about a news flash!)On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)I don't blame the company, I blame the parents forthis one:On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you tofly".On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands orgenitals".(mmm!!,was there a lot of this happeningsomewhere?)Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turnto spread thestupidity

lynard left at 9:13 AM .

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Lynard Ignacio
His friends call him Lynard, Lee, Nard, Anthony, Lon lon. Currently he is a Med student of the University of Santo Tomas. A B.S. Psychology graduate of the same university. A person who wants to release his thoughts/feelings but doesnt really know how to express himself. Optimistic about somethings but at the same time pessimistic on other things. He hopes to accomplish and to do all the things he wants.


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